The Internet Wine Message Board Denizen
Since I’m “ITB” (”in the business” for those of you who are, like me, cyberspace acronym challenged) I will stroll from time to time to a wine message board to read what the lunatic fringe of the wine world have to say for thier bad selves…Well, at least for me, they have very little to say, except maybe to themselves, and the occasional wall… First of all, there are WAAAAY too many people there buying overpriced California cult crap, winery-direct, blowing smoke up each others asses about his allotment of Steaming Turd or Caries Chardonnay - the Wanker’s Vineyard, not the GROSSLY inferior Stinky Pinky Block 666, by the way. And inevitably, those who buy this way obsess about shipping tempertures, knicked labels, uneven bottle fills, and sob about the order-taker at Ethanol Farms who he may have heard stick his tongue out at him when he was placing his order. Then there are those that spew “advice” to the great unwashed like it was his job. Others treat wine like it was a contest, starting threads to the effect of “Black Glop head to head challenge - 1999 DISEMBOWELS 2000 (15 exclamation marks).
So just who is this guy (most likely guy, though gal is certainly possible)? Is he just an oenophilic lonelyheart? A braggard with a surplus of both time and money, and a dearth of taste? An insecure tippler looking for validation for his “anorak” proclivities?… or a man that simply enjoys the company of other geeky men who squander money on wines made specifically ensnare the very beast that he is?
TOM CIOCCO
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Tom-
These “netizens” exist on any hobby board. If you drink coffee, you KNOW that you need to extract your espresso at precisely 202.5 degrees, otherwise it is CRAP! If you have a garden pond, if you don’t have the isuguri koi you are a TOTAL LOSER! And if you eat out at restaurants and don’t know that Mr X from YXK is the BEST chef in the WORLD you are an IDIOT!!!
You need to get online more!
Dan (in Houston)
Comment by Dan — January 8, 2007 @ 1:17 pm
Were we supposed to answer those questions?
Man I resemble a lot of that and you are really uspecific here.
Comment by Brandon M — January 8, 2007 @ 2:35 pm
Brandon-
The questions are only semi-rhetorical, but the incomprension of this sort of fellow is quite real for me…so if you feel so inclined, please do respond.
TOM CIOCCO
Comment by Tom C — January 8, 2007 @ 5:01 pm
Dan-
Yeah, I think that I kind of knew that many message board folks are something approaching obsessed with their respective subjects of choice. For example, I am a HUGE Rutgers sports fan (my alma mater, BTW and a LONG TIME fan too, so perish any thoughts of “bandwagon fan” thank you), and check out Rutgers message boards from time to time. Now there is more than a fair share of “know-it-all-ism” and just plain garbage on any such board, but at least with something like football, you could say that on that one 3rd and short they should have gone play action rather than for the pitch to the halfback because bla bla bla, but SO MANY subjects regarding wine are SO subjective that in many (but by no means all) cases, what the hell is there to talk about really?
In my opinion, these wine “netizens” seem just a TAD worse…listen, anyone who is really passionate about anything can get quickly into minutiae about this or that - talk about how Paul Draper stakes his Petite Sirah vines in Rockpile differently than he does in Dusi Ranch (making this up), or discuss the finer points of a vertical of Dujac that you had the great priviledge to attend. These are subjects that can actually be “discussed” - why, when, etc. But so many of the posts on these boards read like the minutes of a mutual appreciation society, or just veiled bragging about landing 3 bottles of this or that cult wine - who cares?!…another thing that I’ve noticed…there seems to be fewer actual “conversations” on these boards than on others…like a sort of cyber everybody-shout-at-once “show and tell” for rich white guys…
TOM CIOCCO
Comment by Tom C — January 8, 2007 @ 5:29 pm
Are you talking about all boards or WLTV boards, or both?
Comment by Brandon M — January 9, 2007 @ 1:31 am
I’m not sure how to actually read into you response to Dan.
Everything is pretty subjective at one time or another, especially college football.
I enjoy having a great deal of CA Cult Cab in the cellar. I also enjoy bragging about my Henry’s Pillar Box Red for $7.99 at Costco. I enjoy giving tasting notes on all my wines and then comparing to what other’s say about the same wine. I like bragging about what bottles I have just landed, and then love also hearing about someone’s story about a great Sommelier or a terrible waiter. I’m not sure where this lands me on your “netizen” scale, and I know it really doesn’t matter. My point is this: In order to get the really great juice you have to grow a lot of grapes. In order to get the really good knowledge you have to wade through some crap.
Have you ever listened to a dinner conversation? Couples may talk about Italy and they may brag about how they lived it up on the Amalfi Coast and 90% of it may be bragging about living it up, but 10% of it is REALLY good stuff. Where they went, who they met, what wine they experienced, and so on, and so on. While I’m not sure why you have an impatience for the wine forum communities in general, I do believe there is a great deal of knowledge and fun brought forth from these social environments.
Did I read it right?
Comment by Brandon M — January 9, 2007 @ 1:44 am
I think it’s fair to say that most internet message boards have cliques that are hard to break into, but that’s just a reflection of real life. It’s just easier to do online.
Comment by OKH — January 9, 2007 @ 1:05 pm
Brandon-
While you weren’t directly addressing me, I’m going to chime in anyway…to some degree, I think that it depends on who you are as a person…I’ve always been a VERY independent and opionated person, so unless there are actual FACTS to be gleaned from a message board, my interest in what someone else is drinking or enjoying is minimally interesting to me. And as far as bragging is concerned, the only legitimate braggarts are the person or people who MADE the wine…to me, bragging about wines that you own/have discovered flies in the face of the notion of SHARING, which is one of the central points on which wine operates…
I’ve always preferred to make my own discoveries as well as my own mistakes…think about it, even if someone recommends something HIGHLY to you, you still have to try the wine and make your own decision anyway, so in the end who cares what I think, or you think, or she thinks about this is or that wine? At least as far as wine is concerned, other people’s opinions are interesting, but in the end not very “useful”.
Also, I was specifically NOT thinking of the folks on the WLTV board - my take is for the most part, WLTV folks are “beginner to intermediate” wine drinkers that are truly open and hungry for knowledge and experience…no, the boards I have in mind are full of people who think that they know it all and have been anointed personally by Bacchus to spread the wine gospel to the wallowing, ignorant masses.
TOM CIOCCO
Comment by Tom C — January 9, 2007 @ 2:24 pm
I’m flattered that you chose my photo to illustrate your post. (Although Roger might feel differently! Who knew this photo taken on a casual night of entertaining at Dover Canyon would become an icon of cork-dorkiness?)
Tom, I hope you will provide a hotlink under the photo to the original article–”How to Tell a Wine Geek from a Cork Dork,” and I hope you will all support Dover Canyon in the American Wine Blog Awards, taking place this month.
Warm regards,
Mary B.
Dover Canyon Winery
Comment by Mary B. — January 17, 2007 @ 2:20 pm
Mary B.
Done and done. Thanks for taking a great photo, and best of luck to Dover Canyon and your blog too!
TOM CIOCCO
Comment by Tom C — January 17, 2007 @ 4:30 pm
Your comment about the priceof Cal /Napa wines was on point. I’ve been crying about this for the past Three yrs. It seems to be getting worse with every passing yr. If you are crazy enough to pay 2-3 hundred thousand per acre for a vinyard i wonder how long before you start “enjoying” most of the wine you produce since the wine buying public will not buy your $500.00 per btl Cab even if is so called a “cult” wine??
Comment by robert — January 27, 2007 @ 3:46 pm