Burgers and Fries

It’s July 5th. If you are American, I hope that you all had a great holiday. If not, you were probably at work, and maybe didn’t get a chance to get that barbecue lit on the roof or out on the sidewalk near your job. I am, and I did, and in keeping with the slightly jingoistic nature of Indepenedence Day, my wife and I made perhaps the most American of meals, burgers and fries!

For as many variations as the hamburger has witnessed over its lifetime, I tend to cleave to a more “orthodox” interpretation of the unofficial American national dish. First, the meat. It’s GOTTA be beef (as if I had to say that). Second, the best burgs are made from COARSELY ground beef - usually an equal parts blend of chuck, sirloin, and round. Third, when forming the patties, keep them as loose as possible while still ensuring that the patty will not crumble. For me (and not just me by the way!) adding anything to the meat mixture (other than S&P, though I do this on each side of each burger before cooking) makes the thing something other than a humburger - no parsley, no cumin…even onion - adding these and a bevy of other things too can make for some good eatin’, but for me, packing ground beef with anything other than salt an pepper means that you have just read the roadside sign that says “You have just left Hamburgulania”.

The buns are a bit more controversial. Some folks will accept nothing other than the “traditional” soft, fluffy “hamburger buns”. Duly noted and understood, though it must be said that not all of these rolls are created equal, but the best of them are quite good for the application and certainly fit into the commodiously “comforting” column. Here in the eastern U.S. (and perhaps elsewhere) we have what we variously call “hard rolls” or “kaiser rolls” - they look like this. These also make excellent conveyances for a patty, though some find them too big, though its apologists just tell me to make a bigger burger…I’ve also tried what are essentially smallish, round “Italian bread” rolls, and though they are probably tastier than either the traditional hamburger bun or the kaiser roll, they’re just too tough and chewy, forcing one to literally tear each bite from the whole which inevitably causes severe garnish and condiment loss, and big mess to boot. Stick with one of the former breads say I…

Now we get into the REAL controversy…as I said above, if you like hot fudge and crushed peanuts on your burger, more power to you, but for me, there are only eleven (11) permissable garnishes and condiments for a hamburger. They are: ketchup, mayonnaise, mustard, steak sauce, cheese, bacon (this one for me flirts with “unacceptable” - bacon RULES, but it’s just too strong to really play well with the rest of the guests in my opinion), cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, onions (fried or raw) and pickles (I guess that this includes relish as well, but for us purists, it’s a case of brown shoes with a tuxedo). Hidebound? Rigid? Maybe, but somebody’s got to defend tradition, so it might as well be me (and you too perhaps). But all kidding aside, when you modify this, expand on that, and improve on the other, you might wind up with a darned tasty sandwich, but at some point you no longer have a “hamburger”, no?

So just a few words about the fries. Crisco is my fat of choice - if you haven’t tried it yet, do. Crisco was designed as a baking shortening, so it is mild enough to not clash with delicate tarts, cakes, pastries, etc. When used to fry potatoes, it greatly reduces the “heavy” fried taste that can come from using vegetable or corn oils. The last matter of spud biz here is the question “To peel or not to peel”? For me, either is fine - unpeeled is healthier and with a deeper, earthier taste. Unpeeled is a bit more elegant. When I don’t peel, I cut the taters into “steak fries” and when I do, matchsticks…how about you?

And so what to drink? Beer is NEVER a bad choice with a burger and fries, and some might feel that it is the ONLY acceptable alcoholic beverage to pair with Wimpy’s favorite bite, but since this is fundamentally a wine blog, and we all like wine, let’s talk wine pairings…The hamburger is not an easy match: you’re dealing with fairly rich meat that is often charred to some degree, topped with raw veggies, and sauces with both sweet and sour aspects. Not easy at all. But whether by design or just dumb luck, there is a quintessentially American wine that for me does the best job of bringing all of these disparate elements into line, and that wine is PETIT SIRAH! P.S.’s dark, brooding side hooks up beautifully with the char on the meat, and its rustic, gutsy, spikey tannins AND acids have enough brawn to stand up to the cocktail of ketchup, pickles, and onions (and it quite deftly plays the role of the “paints” for the canvas that are fried potatoes). Really though - no wine I’ve found does as much justice to the American classic of hamburgers and fries than Petit Sirah, and lord knows it doesn’t have to be the fourth of July to get these two together for a little fireworks…Below are some P.S.’s for YOUR next burger-flip.

TOM CIOCCO

PETS FOR YOUR BURGS