Looking at the world through rose-colored glassware

So many really sound wine-drinking advices and provvisos now seem so much part of the canon of wine-drinking knowledge that many now seem almost too silly to mention, but here’s one that I just need to be sure that everyone has grasped (though one could argue that anyone reading this blog already knows what I’m about to say all too well, but I raise a glass to the few who perhaps don’t, and perhaps more so to the friends and families of those who know, and just need a little extra push to broach the subject…)

…the subject is glassware, but it’s not the same old dilemma about whether this or that glass makes the wine taste different, better, or whatever. This topic is much more basic…

We’ve all been invited to friends or relative’s houses (usually not the residence of an oenophile as we shall see) for some pretty fancy dinners. One if not more of the hosts are excellent cooks, love to, and know how to really entertain guests, are great converstionalists, and really pride themselves on setting a beautiful table, as well. Everything sounds good, right? And for the most part it is, and in the end, this is all one could ask for as a guest, except for one small part of that last point - the part about the table settings…Real care is taken in this arena - matching the linen napkins to the dishware, silverware, tablecloth, etc. If the dinner’s theme is Armenian, this thoughtful host or hostess might even utilize the red, blue, and orange colors of the Armenian flag for that little extra something. Very nice indeed.

But all too often, those that like to fuss that much in their table preparations are also a bit prone to gilding the lily, and this unfortunately can sometimes extend to the stemware. Sadly, in trying to play the theme out past it’s natural level of real functionality, wineglasses wind up dressed up for Halloween, i.e. made up and costumed. I’m talking for instance about those sapphire blue goblets that look more like little vases than wine glasses. I’m also talking about those 9 inch-tall, super thick-rimmed, “antique” styled glasses with the green rims, and the charming bubbles trapped in the ripple-textured glass. Though these types of table settings certainly add a certain “mood” to a table, their presence is nearly wholly aesthetic, and only minimally functional.

I don’t want to make too much of the notion that wine glasses are “tools” to drink wine, but rejecting any such notion out of hand leaves one faced with possibility of drinking wine from crockery coffee mugs or children’s plastic sippy cups. Hyperbole? perhaps, but the glassware mentioned above, not to mention these sorts of vessels, just won’t cut it for the real wine lover.

First, those who love their wine want not only to appreciate it’s aromas and flavors, but its color as well. This is not possible in a tinted or opaque glass. Second, the shapes of many of these more flamboyant glasses are not conducive to either swirling the wine or even maximizing the collection of aromas in the empty space above the wine. Many of these kinds of glasses are V-shaped for example which makes swirling wine more likely that you’ll spalsh it onto the tablecloth or your friend’s wife. That shape also encourages more of the wines aromas to dissipate into the air than to collect in your sinuses. Another aspect of shape can also diminish the wine-drinking experience, and that is glass thickness. Precisely why this is the case no one is sure, but experiment after experiment has shown that the thinner the glass from which one drinks is, the more subjects seems to enjoy the wine. The main theory holds that some microcurrent-related phenomenon or oxygenation effect may be at work when wine spills across a very thin, delicate brim as opposed to a thick, clumsy one. But whatever the actual “scientific” reason for it, I think we’ve all experienced it. For the doubters, take it to the extreme - pour yourself out equal quantities of your favorite wine - one into a $40 glass or crystal stem, and the other dram into a plastic coffee mug, and see from which vessel the wine tastes better…

So at your next dinner party, by all means pull out all of the stops - often the little details are what “make” an evening, but whether your guests are oenophiles or common winos, resist the urge to trade the tried and true elements of a good wine glass for a more obviously, purely “aesthetic” choice.

TOM CIOCCO